You heard the stories about unfaithful husbands countless times – from your friends, a neighbor from across the street, a news article, or a social media post – but you always thought (or hoped) that it could never happen to you.
Sadly, every relationship can reach a point where one of the partners doesn’t feel content with how things are going anymore. And they might start looking for that fulfillment somewhere else. All that’s left for you is to bury yourself in suspicions and anger, constantly wondering whether your loved one really betrayed your trust or you’re just on a rough patch in your relationship.
Once the suspicions arise, one of the first things women do is google the signs of a cheating husband to make sure they’re not being delusional or overly jealous. And let me say this – if your gut tells you that something is wrong between the two of you, there is a reason for that. However, there’s no need to jump to conclusions as there can be a million other possible explanations.
Today we will look at the most obvious signs of a cheating husband, break down possible reasons for cheating, and learn about the best ways to catch a cheating husband red-handed.
Cheating Husband – Facts and Advice
Although we’d like to believe that everyone is different and people don’t go the same route as millions before them, it’s not true. And we have statistics to back that up. Below are some of the most curious facts that will give you an insight as to how, why, and how many men across the world are resorting to cheating.
- In general, men are more inclined to cheating than women. As recent surveys show, around 22% of men have cheated on their loved one at least once in their life, while only 14% of females admitted the same.
- The higher the man’s income is, the more likely he is to cheat on his partner. Having financial security feeds into high self-esteem and attracts more women.
- Cheating men are more likely to have an affair with a woman who is younger than their wife.
- A cheating husband is less likely to think about ending the marriage while having an affair. Whether the woman cheats or gets cheated on, it is more likely that she will be the initiator of the divorce.
- Most cheating men believe that infidelity can be justified by the lack of intimacy in the relationship.
- Men are more likely to become cheaters if they have an upcoming birthday milestone. To be more specific, a study showed that men who are about to turn 30, 40 or 50 tend to look for new experiences in life, including new relationships.
Being aware of these prerequisites can prevent the downfall of your marriage as well as motivate you to take action to strengthen your relationship.
5 Ways to Keep Him from Cheating: Women`s Guide
If you want the relationship to last, you have to put some effort into it. In the ideal world, both partners would equally fight for their marriage and work on finding compromises. In reality – someone has to do the first step or put a little bit more effort than the other. If you found yourself in a situation where you think your partner is getting distant and tries to find comfort someplace else, remind them why your relationship started in the first place and let them know you’re willing to fight for it.
What exactly can you do? Let’s look at the best ways to keep your husband from cheating.
Make sure he knows how much he means to you
People often take each other for granted or assume their loved ones already know how much you care about them. But we all need to be acknowledged from time to time. When you stop hearing the desired “I love you” from your spouse, it can make you start second-guessing yourself and your relationship. An occasional text that says “I miss you” while he’s at work or away on a business trip can do wonders. Tell him that he’s an important part of your life not only on his birthday or your anniversary but on a regular day, too. Don’t go overboard, however. Suffocating him with affection will only push him over the edge.
Let him have some “me” time
While it’s thrilling to have someone all to yourself, don’t forget that he’s his own person as well. Don’t forbid him to see his friends without you or nag him about spending some time on his own. Instead, why don’t you also go out with your friends and have some time for yourself? Having personal space in a relationship is crucial. It can also make you appreciate your time together more.
Find out more about his past relationships
Talking about past partners might be uncomfortable, but it is necessary to learn about the past to be able to move forward. Ask him why he broke up with his previous girlfriend and let him know what you didn’t like in your previous relationships. This can help you to avoid making the same mistakes in your current relationship.
Also, try to find out whether he ever cheated before. If he has a track record of being unfaithful, the chances are high that he will do so again, no matter what you do or say.
Clearly state your position on cheating
Some people cheat simply because they think they can get away with it. If you know that for you cheating is unforgivable, subtly let your partner know about it. You might come up with a story about your co-worker whose cheating husband betrayed her and finish up your tale with a reflective “I don’t think I would be able to forgive someone who betrayed my trust like that”. It doesn’t guarantee that he won’t stray in the future, but it just might make him think twice before doing so.
Don’t put the intimacy on the shelf
Sadly, the passion and excitement can slowly be forced out of your relationship the more you get sucked into the routine of life. Sometimes it feels like there is no more time or energy for intimacy. Once the partner starts feeling like your marriage is really lacking in that department, they might look for other ways to fulfill their needs. So don’t let the intimacy between the two of you wither. Don’t be scared to try new things and be more bold about it.
10 Signs of a Cheating Husband (Based on Real Experiences)
As it was previously said, men often follow the same patterns when cheating, which makes it easier to expose them. Some of our readers shared their personal stories and told us about the changes in their partner’s behavior that got them busted.
1. Comes home smelling of an unfamiliar fragrance.
Alice, 32 years
I was never the overly-jealous type. So when my husband came home after a late-night office party smelling of female perfume, I didn’t think much of it. Obviously, after being in a room full of people for hours, you end up smelling like a bunch of things. But then I kept smelling the same fragrance on his clothes over and over again. He and his sister were always really close and saw each other quite often, so I just assumed it was hers. And then I started noticing that some things were off about him – he wasn’t talking to me as much anymore, he was always too tired to go out with me, and stuff like that.
One day, I decided to surprise him, and I went to his office to have lunch together. That’s when I met one of his new co-workers. As soon she stood beside me, I recognized the perfume fragrance. Once my cheating husband saw us in the same room together, he started being very fidgety and hurried to get me out of there. That was all the proof I needed. He later admitted that they’ve been going out from time to time since the night of the party.
2. Your conversations become more dry and he often is being sarcastic or harsh with his words.
Jamalia, 45 years
My husband and I have been together for 15 years. We’ve had our ups and downs over the years, but he was never mean or disrespectful to me. But recently I noticed that he would become easily annoyed or irritated because of everything I said. Every time I tried to have a serious conversation with him, he would avoid giving honest answers or would just leave the room. I thought that maybe he had problems at work or he was dealing with some sort of personality crisis, but I couldn’t get any explanation out of him.
And then a week ago, he said he was thinking about leaving me because “it seemed like we didn’t fit together anymore”. Yesterday I found out that he has been seeing our neighbor across the street for the past 6 months or so. She came over to our house when I was supposed to be visiting my physician. But my appointment got rescheduled and so I had the pleasure to meet the woman my husband has been cheating with.
3. Questions you about your schedule and whereabouts more often than usual.
Olivia, 26 years
When my boyfriend started being overly curious about the time I leave the house or when I get off work, I suspected something fishy was going on. Ironically, I thought that he was being jealous and he was scared that I was cheating on him. But then the question got really weird and specific, like “How long do you think it will take to get home?” or “Will you let me know if you decide to leave work earlier today?”
I asked him why he was being so nosy about it and he came up with some lame excuse that didn’t even make sense. Needless to say, I decided to one day come back home randomly without telling him about it and found them doing their business in our living room.
4. Spends an unusual amount of time on his appearance and started working out for no reason.
Lisa, 30 years
I wouldn’t call my husband a style icon. While he dressed really nicely during our early dating days, over the years, he switched to a more comfortable style and stopped putting that much effort into his physical form. I didn’t have any problem with that, as long as he was happy about himself. And it seemed like he was. Which is why I found it strange when he started regularly going to the gym and changed half of his wardrobe. And then other things started piling up – secret calls, urgent meetings, weird mood swings, etc. All my friends are saying that he is cheating, but I’m very hesitant to confront him as I don’t want our marriage to end just like that.
5. Stops wearing his wedding ring without any reasonable explanation.
Maria, 51 years
When you are my age and have been with someone as long as me and my husband have, your perspective on cheating is very different. For a long time, our married life has been very routine and uneventful. Both of us have been busy with our little grandkids – or housework, or some personal matters – so there wasn’t really a place for intimacy or romance. I was fine with the way things were going, but as it turned out, my husband wasn’t feeling very happy about it. Only after 2 months did I notice that he would leave the house without wearing his wedding ring. He never took it off before and never talked about it being uncomfortable to wear.
When asked about it, he said it just didn’t fit him anymore. A few days later, he confessed that he would go to a hotel a few times a month and hire escort services. I realized he was trying to find there something he wasn’t able to find at home. Something that would make him feel like he was still an eligible man. But in the end, all he felt afterward was guilt and shame, so he stopped going there. We’ve talked about it for hours on end and decided to turn this whole situation into a learning experience for both of us and something that can strengthen our marriage.
6. Receives strange calls from unknown numbers.
Clarissa, 22 years
My story is probably very similar to many others. My ex-boyfriend would often get these random calls from the same unknown number that he always either rejected or picked up to say he would call them back later. I asked him about it a few times and all I got was “It’s just no one”. But the phone would sometimes ring even in the middle of the night. He always made sure to get to the phone before I saw who it was. One time, however, his volume level was too high, so I was able to hear that it was a woman talking on the other end. After hours of arguing about it, he finally admitted that he was seeing someone else on the side.
7. Steps out of the room to talk on the phone.
Rebecca, 29 years
I noticed that my husband would sometimes leave the room to answer his calls. It wouldn’t be such a big deal to me if he did this all the time, but he was fine talking to his parents or his friends around me. When I asked him about it, he said it was just work. But what kind of work needs to be discussed in the middle of the night? I didn’t want to nag him so I just let it slide. Until one time, he left his phone in our room and went to take a shower. I picked up the phone only to find out that it was another woman he was talking to all this time. I confronted him about it, but he got super angry and defensive and started blaming me for invading his privacy. Needless to say, we broke up a few weeks later.
8. Deletes some calls from the call history.
Erica, 34 years
Not proud to admit it, but recently, I had to snoop on my boyfriend’s phone to prove that he was cheating on me. Initially, I started being suspicious when I noticed that he deleted some of the calls and messages from his phone. We often use each other’s phones, so it was pretty easy to notice. I knew that if I ask him about it, he would just lie or brush it off as me being paranoid. So I shoved my pride away and installed a recovery software on his phone while he was sleeping. Everything I saw just proved that I was right about him.
9. He accuses you of cheating and is being jealous.
Sandra, 25 years
My husband was never really the jealous type. When he started accusing me of being unfaithful, I had no idea how to react. It was so out of his character. And his accusations were so ridiculous – I put more make-up than usual, I went out to the grocery store without telling him, I didn’t pick up the phone when he called, etc. I tried to assure him nothing was happening over and over again. I even felt guilty for making him doubt our relationship like that. I told him I never cheated on him and never would. But guess who did? A friend of mine bumped into him on the street while he was holding hands with and hugging another woman. That’s how I found out about the affair.
He started spending more money without telling you about it.
Suzie, 38 years
Usually, my husband was the one who dealt with all the financial issues. He would pay the bills, taxes, and keep tabs on our savings. Which is why I had no idea he was secretly spending money on something (or someone, as I later found out). I decided to check our expenses history after getting a call from a bank concerning our joint account. The first thought I had after seeing the amount of money he spent – gambling or a secret debt he’s trying to pay off. Never in a million years would I think that he was spending all that money on buying presents for his mistress.
4 Reasons Why Husbands Cheat on the Perfect Wife
Nothing ruins the confidence of a woman more than being betrayed by their partner. They start overanalyzing everything, doubting themselves, trying to figure out what they did wrong to make him cheat. But men cheat even if their woman is perfect. They actually would be more likely to cheat if they think their woman is too perfect for them. Sometimes the problem is not in the relationship but in the cheater himself. Psychologists shared some interesting discoveries as to why men cheat even if their partner is everything they dreamed of.
Lack of Maturity
Simply not having enough prior experience of being in a real commitment or jumping into a relationship they weren’t ready for – those are some of the most common reasons for infidelity. For many men, sex is just sex, and it has nothing to do with emotional commitment. Which is why they often don’t realize to what extent they might hurt their partner who doesn’t share their view on this matter.
Lack of Confidence
Many cheaters admit that the reason they had relationships on the side was because of their own insecurities and the feeling of not being good enough for their partner. Instead of trying to share their feelings with their loved ones, they try to hide or silence those self-doubts by having an affair.
You know how kids can sometimes go and break something just because you didn’t let them finish watching their favorite cartoon? Well, a saying that “All men are just big babies” might hold a grain of truth. Sometimes, the reason why men cheat is just to get back at you and get revenge for something.
They Feel Unhappy in a Happy Relationship
You can be unhappy even if everything in your life is going great. A man might love his wife with all his heart and still feel like he isn’t really happy in their marriage. That can lead to them feeling guilty and trying to find a way to end things out of compassion for their loved one. That’s how many men justify their infidelity – that it was the only logical end to their relationship that would set both partners free.
How to Find out If the Husband Is Cheating With the Help of a Spy App
During the before-the-cellphones era, people had to be really creative in finding ways to cheat on their partners without being caught. But phones have made it so much easier to plan everything out and cover up your traces. Because of that, for any cheater, their phone is their most prized possession. It also gives you more than enough opportunities to catch a cheating husband red-handed. Install tracking software on his phone – and you have access to all his secrets.
Pros of Getting a Spy App
If you’re still hesitant about getting a spying software to monitor your husband’s phone, let’s look at what benefits it can give you:
- Quick and easy installation. Most of the software takes up to 5 minutes to install and comes with a detailed guide on how to navigate it. Some apps don’t even require physical access to the device to be installed.
- Detailed reports of the phone’s activity. You get to see everything that happens on the phone – incoming/outgoing messages and calls, downloads, browser history, etc.
- Tracking location. As long as the phone is connected to the Internet, you can see the exact location of the device. Apps like mSpy also have a geofencing feature – you can input a “forbidden location” into the tracker and it will send you an alert any time the person visits that area.
- Access to the deleted content. If your husband decides to cover his tracks and deletes something from his phone, the app will not only tell you about it but will also give you access to the deleted item.
Catch a Cheating Husband FAQ: You Ask – We Answer
In order to answer your most pressing questions, we’ve got in touch with our private psychiatrist and talked to support representatives of the best spying apps. Below we are sharing their professional experience and advice.
– Can you love your spouse and still cheat?
Definitely. As I previously said in my article, people can cheat for reasons that have no relation to their partner. It can be because of problems with self-esteem, their immaturity or simply as a way of running away from their personal problems.
– How do I deal with my husband cheating without losing him?
First and foremost, try to understand the reason for his actions and then you can both work on fixing the initial problem. Give yourself some space from him for some time so you could think this through and come to terms with everything. Once you’re ready, talk to him and discuss some boundaries that your marriage should have from now on. However, this will only work if both of you are willing to keep your relationship afloat.
– Do you really love someone if you cheat on them?
There is no clear “yes” or “no” answer to this question. Every relationship is different. People don’t always cheat because they don’t love their partner or because they like someone else. Sometimes cheating is an impulsive decision that has nothing to do with how they feel for their loved one. Many couples survived cheating because they deeply loved each other and were willing to make an effort to save their relationship.
– How do I move on from a cheating husband?
Being cheated on definitely hits your self-esteem and makes it hard for you to trust people in the future. But you shouldn’t let it make your life miserable. Focus on things that will bring your confidence back and learn to love and appreciate yourself more. Accept the fact that the marriage is over and focus on your future possibilities. Think about it as a learning experience.
– How do you trust again after cheating?
The most important thing to do is to give yourself the time to come to terms with what happened and close that chapter of your life. Don’t be scared to be alone for a while, it will help you to make sense of the mess in your head and your heart. Don’t rush engaging into a new relationship right away and once you meet someone you would want to get closer to, take things slowly. When you feel like you’ve reached a new level of trust, talk to him about your past experience so that he knows how you feel.
– Can cheaters change? Can you ever trust a cheating husband?
It all depends on how he reacted after being confronted about it. Many marriage therapists say that if a cheater admitted his mistakes and is ready to take full responsibility for his actions, they deserve a chance to do so. The unbearable guilt for what they’ve done can be quite a motivator. However, if the first response to the accusations was to blame the other partner (or anything else but themselves), chances are they will do it again in the future.
– How to deal with a cheating husband?
Firstly, make sure that your suspicions are well-grounded. Unless you have concrete evidence of him cheating, don’t rush to confront him. Once your ready to have the conversation, let him have a chance to explain why he did it and don’t go on demanding a divorce right away. If he keeps denying everything, but you see that he is lying, just leave the room and give him time to come to his senses and a chance to confess. If you want to keep your marriage, consider getting counseling. If you don’t – take some time away from him and then come back to discuss the details of the divorce, hire a lawyer to help you through it all.
– I could never put something on my husband’s cell phone. It is never out of his reach. I need help.
If you want to install tracking software on your husband’s phone and you can’t come up with the excuse to borrow it for a few minutes, consider getting a software that can be installed remotely. Apps like mSpy can be connected to the phone via iCloud. If you get his iCloud credentials, you can input them in the panel of the app and will sync up to his iCloud storage that backs up all of the text messages, calls, media, etc. from his phone.